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20 Things I've learned on my adventure through life

  1. Nobody, not even the ones who love you those will be there all the time; learn to take care of your own emotional needs and be your own cheerleader.

  2. Life is precious and fleeting; work on being present as much as possible, otherwise you never know what you might miss or who.

  3. What you say to people matters, how you treat people matters, if you or they died today, is that the way you'd want to leave it?

  4. The details are important. Don't sweat them, but do pay attention to them.

  5. It is terrifying standing up for yourself when you feel that there is no one there to support you. Stand up anyway, no one else will do it for you, you will find that you have more support than you thought you did, and you will feel stronger.

  6. If you believe that you are in control, you are delusional. No one is ever in control, when we are present we can control our response, but we cannot control anything outside of ourselves, including our children.

  7. Re parent yourself, instead of beating yourself up for every mistake, encourage

yourself to do better next time and remind yourself that you are worthy. There is enough negativity in the world.

8. You can feed a man a fish for a day, but if you teach him, he can feed himself for the rest of his life (Chinese proverb) In other words, learn how to be independent yourself so you can model it for your children. When you cannot be there, they will have confidence in themselves and their abilities because you did.

9. Perspective is absolutely everything. The view from where you are standing is very different from the person right next to you, just ask a blind person.

10. You are not a victim. The only way anyone is ever a victim is when they believe themselves to be. When you believe you are a victim, you are giving your power away, when you believe that there are no victims you can use your circumstances to propel you not destroy you. Life happens, it's your choice how you respond.

11. Trust yourself and if you don't trust yourself, start learning about yourself. Go into those places that scare you the most about yourself. Then nothing will rattle you.

12. You will be rejected, over, and over and over again. It doesn't mean you aren't ok, just that that person or situation was not right for you. Move on.

13. Question everything including your thoughts, your teachers, your government, your media, your food...need I go on? EVERYTHING, and most importantly your thoughts. You are what you believe yourself to be.

14. Hug people. Hugging releases hormones that make you and the other person feel good and actually strengthens the heart; it's a win-win-win.

15. Treat people with kindness, you don't know what they have been through or their life story. They may have just lost their mom or their whole life and your kindness could make all the difference.

16. Respect ALL of life, including people, animals, plants and even bugs. All of life is important and necessary; you don't get to decide what belongs and what doesn't. If it didn't belong, it wouldn't be here on the planet.

17. Just because you think you know, doesn't mean you know what anyone else needs, not even your children; how can you know what you don't know? You aren't walking in their shoes. Ask instead.

18. Listen more than you speak. Life is speaking to you all the time and you miss most of it because you are too busy figuring out a response instead of hearing what the other person is saying. Or too in your head to notice the flowers blooming, the birds singing, life happening. Listen.

19. Take care of your body. You're going to need it as you get older. Like a car, if you perform routine maintenance and kick the tires once in a while, you'll get a lot farther down the road. Health is way more important than the time you think about it. Put in the work, you will thank yourself and will have developed discipline too.

20. Love yourself. Really, it's not a platitude. Get to know yourself, have a relationship with yourself, maybe even a conversation with yourself, just discover your desires, wants and needs. Love all parts of yourself, the shiny, happy, parts and the dark, shameful parts too.


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